Witless Relocation Program

Happy C*ckblogging Wednesday

2006-06-14T10:25:00.000-06:00

Interesting twist and a little freckle. I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
Happy CBW!

NEWSFLASH - 40 somethings are lonely

2006-06-14T09:33:00.000-06:00

I was reading an article the other day with the oh-so-standard poll taken. It seems that people in their 40's are lonely. DUH! I find myself so lonely at times I want to stab myself with a fork just to snap myself out of being self-pitying and depressing.

It's kind of an interesting observation - most of my friends are lonely yet they refuse to admit to it, and they run around furiously busy with thing to keep their minds off the reality of their situation, or block their loneliness with overindulgence. Most are married, and I don't believe most have tremendously stable relationships with their husbands. When I was little, I had succumbed to the fairy tale that when you got married your husband became your best friend, pal around town, confidante, and lover.... Well that image has been blown to hell by who I have dated (my own fault - I chose them) and what I have observed of other relationships. I can understand that no man wants to go shopping for half the day or talk with you about how your mother pisses you off for the umpteenth time that week (rehashing old crap); however, I can hope if I ever do marry, that he will be my best friend with limits placed on the rehashing thing. I know men try to fix things and rehashing drives them batty since they will never be able to fix something you are trying to process through or may not be ready to fix yet.

In other annoying developments, I've been flirting with a married guy at work that I am somewhat attracted to and another married one is following me around looking at me like a starving dog looks at a porkchop. Why the heck can't I find a decent single guy to talk to? The flirting at work will stay only flirting, nothing more - I wouldn't do that to anyone's wife, plus I deserve so much more (and I think I have been thumped by the cosmos enough, thank you very much). I know that I am flirting to entertain myself and pass the time in a crappy boring job and I am not ready to go back into the big bad world of dating (spare me that crapfest).

There are so many reasons I don't want to go back to dating:
1) I don't enjoy being looked over, like a piece of meat, by idiots I wouldn't give cross the street to pee on if they were on fire.
2) I don't enjoy being confronted with my own shallowness - I can't stand bad teeth, stupidity, or pot-bellies (yes, I am not perfect myself since I am chunky but I do have my limits, as most people do), and quite frankly, I am too old and tired to do the "perfecting myself before I date" thing.
3) I recall obsessing about every bit of fat on my body, my smaller breasts, wrinkle, pore, and lack of color in my pale skin and I do not wish to do that again. I fully understand that your first 10 seconds with anyone are about assessing them physically and I don't stack up anymore physically (part of me doesn't care and is quite freed by this but on the other hand, then the more unaccepting part yells at me daily).
4) I also have a problem with my job - I derive my value as having a career that challenges, stimulates, and excites me. My present position does none of these but I am looking for ways to change this.

Now the war of the internal worlds is working on an argument for losing weight for the 300th time. My internal critic tells me that nobody will date me or love me as I am, plus I may become diabetic so I must lose weight (and on top of that after I lose the weight I might look like a Sharpei but it's my own damn fault).... My internal nuturing voice tells me that I do need to eat better more often and start to exercise and I'll feel better about myself plus I probably won't have that much loose skin and by that time will be in a better job so I can afford a bit of nipping and tucking, so all will be well.

We'll see how all this mess pans out.... I do know one thing for sure, I am too old for this crap!

2006-05-03T00:13:00.000-06:00

That's what I'm talking 'bout...Very Merry CBW!

Black Robbers

2006-04-17T23:26:00.000-06:00

For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story...) on a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she Wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze and her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered, and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!!

Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.

Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely,"Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses.
Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill.

The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed;
Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan

Just something for ya'll to think about, laugh about, etc.

2006-03-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

Happy CBW!!! Here's looking at you, upside-down and with my cock out, kids.

2006-03-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, you all know the drill - I am either too lazy or too busy to post anything with a paragraph...Discuss amongst yourselves or drop me some email about how pissy you are that I haven't written. :P

2006-02-15T03:24:00.000-07:00

Happy CBW!

Light reading

2006-02-15T01:57:00.000-07:00

I was doing a bit of reading the other night - blogs and a book about economics. I found that being a fat woman is basically the kiss of death romantically and financially. I really did know this in the fore and the back of my mind but reading it in black and white really does slam this into my face and I can't ignore it...I can simply understand that I am not psychologically ready to get rid of the extra weight and it did get put on so I could have a physical restrainer (since I couldn't fend well or intelligently for myself) from the opposite sex and have a time out.

The only problem is I am not sure that I know how to fix what's broken other than to journal my feelings and then try to trust myself again slowly. I know that therapy doesn't really help - the patient actually has the epiphany on their own, not because of some great big lightbulb that the therapist turns on over your head. Journalling can be much more introspective than talking to a therapist ever is, so the problem would lie in me being so terrified of being a "normal" size again. I really don't know if I can trust myself not to be a stupid little scared mouse who doesn't speak up for herself again - and that pisses me off and frightens me more than anything else than anything else ever could.

Ironic, I used to love being invisible or being ignored in the beginning of the weight gain but now I find it more and more irritating. I think I am missing the attention and am missing interaction and affection from the opposite sex as well. I truly am beginning to hate being the "big sister," "person to kiss ass with to get into her hot friend's pants," or "girl that you talk to more than you will ever admit to your buddies who obviously doesn't have any real feelings since she's fat." I am a person and have feelings and emotions no matter what my size is, and much like when I got thin when I was a teen, I feel the time coming closer for me to shed some weight. Also much like when I was a teen, if you couldn't find a way to talk to me before I lost the weight I am sure I will find I have no need to talk to you after I lose the weight. Yeeeesssss, this is petty, but once snubbed I don't forget - still the same person but now I look amazing and you want to chat or try to smug up on me, uh sorry, I have an appointment and have to run (and amazingly so, I will always have to run if you come toward me to talk). So, judge not on one shallow level lest ye be judged.

Oh, the main blog I read was the hot librarian and she mentioned the "Ladder Theory" (in a passing comment). I googled the "Ladder Theory." What I found was that I am in the undateable/unfuckable rung directly at the bottom of the ladder, as far as men are concerned (again, not news but now pissing me off a bit) - which is just above naval lint but not considered as intelligent or entertaining. I also read "Freakonomics" and found that fat chicks don't earn as much money as their smaller counterparts and being fat is the kiss of death romantically (again, no new news just new irritation). Yay me! In a few shorts months of overeating I have effectively screwed myself financially, emotionally, and romantically - I bet Mom is proud of me, 'cause I sure am. *sigh*

Oh well, back to eating smaller portions and exercising (which I don't find enjoyable since I can't find any decent aerobic tapes that incorporate dance like the instructor I had in college did in her aerobic classes). I guess I have to get back to the gym and start using the old discman I have and burn some CD's that inspire me to walk on that boring elliptical machine.

Anybody have any good suggestions for music to keep me entertained while walking? Any comments are welcome!

=)

SAD - single's awareness day

2006-02-14T01:53:00.000-07:00

M

y friend

found this phrase in another blog as a reference to V-day (or what can be called "just one more day being single is glaringly unnatural," according to Hallmark and most all your coupled-up friends) which I thought was very clever. If anyone knows which site this is, please tell me so I can give the person who thought up this phrase due credit.

I am missing having someone in my life but I remember how many someone's who weren't really in my life (or the square-ones-I-tried-fitting-in-the-round-hole by use of a sledgehammer, as they could be referred to) who I have had who had only served to make me even more lonely. The second most saddening thing, for me, is having someone in your life and feeling more lonely than if you were alone.

I would like to have a man in my life with whom that I have things in common (for a change). I'd like to have a man who doesn't think I am ditsy (even if I am from time to time - I blame the blood-sugar drop for this...heehee) and instead finds me cute. I'd like a man who isn't cruel (unlike the moron who ran his Sports Illustrated swim models tape for me as a "surprise" because I was sad because I'd gained weight and wasn't feeling so great about myself), and doesn't list off my imperfections when he himself has none (uh, right, this is why so many women are beating down his door - NOT). I would like a man who does love me for me, not only the outside, but my personality, my intellect, my quirks, and my odd observations about life and people...Oh, and a man who actually understands female anatomy and can be emotionally nurturing would be amazing (found one - one out of 17 - who understood female anatomy *aka astounding in bed* but was a bit lacking in the emotional support area).

Yes, I do take full responsibility for the dating of the ill-mannered, non-communicative, and ignorant. I chose to date them and stayed associated much too long with them. I always felt if I just work more dilligently at the relationship that everything will be great but this never panned out, so I would end up pissed off at myself and walking out on said guy. I know this is one of many reasons I have given up searching for a decent man - my own flaws and theirs.

I believe if all women would band together and decide to be treated as we should and not settle, men would be forced to stop being players, acting as though women are naturally toothpick thin, tuning us out, and treating us badly in general. I really do hate Disney and society for instilling the thought that if a woman doesn't have a man there's something wrong with her or she's *gasp and mock horror* gay. I admit there are a few things wrong with me but everyone has a few things wrong with them. It'd just be nice to find a nice guy whose issues don't clash with my issues. I fully understand that one person can't be everything to you and for you, but being a lot more than what I have had would be wonderful. *sigh*

Oh well, once again I am left with working on myself and my life goals, as usual. There are many worse things than being single and occasionally lonely, so I will try to focus on other things on single awareness day - like our cookie baking contest at work. At least I can bake some fabulous cookies and do some cube decorating that will distract me while at work and I don't have to be around couples who remind me of my singleness. Plus, I don't have to share my food, bed, or space with someone else (yet for the right someone else, I would). At least I am not in some unhealthy relationship just for the sake of having one, and that's the best V-day present I can give myself (well, that and the stunningly lovely Liz Claiborne blouse I got on sale for $15 - yahoo)!

Have a lovely week and try to enjoy Tuesday even if Hallmark or Teleflora didn't get a pound of flesh from you or your loved ones.

Have you ever?

2006-02-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought that perhaps your going out to dinner (eating too much crap), little gifts to yourself (crap you don't really need), and little indulgences are only a way to appease yourself because you hate your job and your life?

Have you ever thought what the world would become if all the people trapped in jobs they hate quit them at once? (I think the chaos would be a bit delightful and definitely allow people to move into something that suits them and makes them happy since so many jobs would have openings. I'm sure I would tire of the chaos after a bit but it's a wonderful thought.)

Have you ever thought that you were trapped in your own version of hell and won't allow yourself to get out?

Have you ever thought the world would be a much better place if people treated each other with respect, compassion, and dignity instead of anger, irritation, and suspicion (which becomes more commonplace each day)? Have you ever thought that perhaps your smug assessment of someone as being lazy or stupid is simply your own problem understanding, having compassion, or correctly communicating with them?

Have you ever thought that the studies showing that teens, and people in general, become more violent after watching or playing violent games or listening to violent lyrics really is valid, and is affecting our society in a negative way?

Have you ever thought that maybe you having a huge SUV, wasting water, and/or wasting electricity could be part of the reason that petroleum prices are so high (supply and demand - think about it) and it's selfish/oafish of you to behave in this manner?

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, if large corporations treated their employees with care and consideration, paid a living wage, not expect that the employee take unjustifiably angry and irritable customers and kiss their butts, and treat the employees with respect, that fewer employees would leave that corporation and might even be loyal and caring employees, plus the customers might be forced/learn to be civil?

Have you ever thought that you really don't contemplate enough how all the species of the planet are connected (you're just slogging through life being oblivious) and don't do enough to "give back" to save species or to help your fellow man?

Have you ever thought that each one of us has become more isolated because of the internet, email, cell phones, and many of the other conveniences we say we enjoy? Have you ever become very sad because you understand first-hand how lonely and disconnected from each other we all have become?

Have you ever been very annoyed with yourself because your first reaction to being depressed/stressed is to hide in your own shell (which just seems to worsen things at times)?

Have you ever become annoyed with yourself because one or more of your friends is hurting but you aren't fully "there" for them because you are trying to deal with your own life?

Have you ever felt like everyone else around you is in a happy relationship but you, and you "missed the boat?"

Have you ever wondered if sooner or later all of our good jobs in America will be outsourced to another country and are sincerely worried the U.S. will become a third world country because of greedy businesses and pliant politicians who "bend" to paid lobbyists? Have you ever wondered if a full-blown revolution will ensue in the U.S. as the gap in earnings finally reaches a breaking point between the "haves" and the "have-nots?"

Have you ever thought that you have to stop thinking because it's too depressing and just turn on the t.v. to a mindless show instead?

These are the things I think of and/or do at times...Yes, a bit sobering and a bit depressing.

I will post another of the good things that I think of as well.

2006-02-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Birthday to Me!
(I know, it's a repost but I love this picture)

Long after the thrill of living is gone...

2006-01-14T01:38:00.000-07:00

So, I had hatched this scheme for little me (the woman with the double major in bio/chem and another degree in computer info systems and is bored senseless in a call center), to get back to at least an "interesting" line of work. Today, I had one tremendously long call from a moronic person who couldn't understand simple math plus was a stunningly belligerent jackass.

Of course because of this call, I had to check if my dream scheme would work (I figured I was on crack with this scheme but at least it was a lovely thought to turn to when talking to "the few, the loud, the jackasses" and not to want to hang myself with my shoestrings at my desk because of the thought that I am trapped in a thankless, endlessly shitty job that doesn't even pay a decent wage.)

I found the CU Health Sciences website, and lo-and-behold as I had suspected, my former credits from my coursework in biology and chemistry will no longer be accepted since they are too old and crusty (kinda like me on some days). I am sincerely not feeling 4 years of a pre-pharmacy degree to be followed by an advanced degree in pharmacy for another 4 yrs to the tune of about $25 thousand a year or so (as the years increase, so will tuition, of course).

I then checked the University of WY in Laramie for their requirements. I had to resort to sending an email to check if anything for this degree could be done in a distance course or if any of my old credits would apply - we'll see what response I get (probably that I am out of my nut). I didn't check to see how much money the courses were at UW but for distance courses the resident tuition applies, so perhaps that is heartening.

If anyone has any suggestions about getting me out of the sickening call center atmosphere and into a career for which I am better suited, I would be happy to research the idea(s) and mull them over thoroughly. I have got to get back to a normal job. I am not cut out to talk to people every day since I am an introvert, first of all.

Secondly, I simply don't adore having to break things down in a simple math equation (subtraction, duh) to people who have no business breeding since they lack basic mid-level intellect brain function (and will be sure to pop out at least 4-6 kids and overrun the planet with more little duh-rrrrrrrsss with drool running down their chins like momma and daddy). I can deal with people who at least are polite - I am the most patient person in the world if you at least acknowledge that you don't get it and don't start personally attacking me for a communication problem.

Just to make sure you understand what I occasionally have to talk with I will define it:
The bellowing belligerent moron is a pathetic sub-species of human (Homo sapiens hypocephalus). She/he understands that she/he lacks brain function but it's the world's fault somehow and she/he possesses no higher skills other than to bite her/his toenails, not listen to a word you say, have no manners, don't know how to shut her/his big mouth, and must argue with you even thought she/he didn't hear a word you said, etc. These people simply make me want to teach her/him some manners with a leather belt and a big bar of homemade soap, like their momma should have. It's very difficult to push me to violent thoughts, so you know how much these few people piss me off.

*sigh* I feel much better now - thanks for not taking my venting too seriously, it always blows over once I vent it out in the open.

I do hope to hear some new doable career suggestions if ya'll are up for it!

Hope your weekend is lovely!

Little things

2006-01-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

One of my friends sent me this in email:

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his
books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes and my heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks - they really should get lives."
" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends and he said, " yes."
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle and he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous and today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech so, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. " Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about is weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God (or whatever or whomever you believe in) in others.
If you can read this, thank a Teacher,
If you are reading it in English, Thank a Veteran.
L. David Atchison, USN Ret.

Truthfully, just one kind or unkind word or action can push a person over the edge...Play nice and be good to each other.

Happy New Year!!!

New Year in style

2005-12-31T23:42:00.000-07:00

Cheers!

2005-12-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Stocking stuffer or stuffee?

2005-12-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

Love from Mrs. Claus

2005-12-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

Wonder where she'll put that Xmas pickle...hmmm.

2005-12-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

Why have red and green when you can have pink for Xmas?

2005-12-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

Xmas tree for a new generation

Disappearing Act

2005-12-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

To address what Holden and CWAG might wonder about:

Luvs, I simply disappear when I don't feel battered by the world and myself (feeling not-so-great or peppy). I don't want to bring everyone down in the muck and mire of my pissy drama queen rants or depressed goth chick whines or disaffected not-so-youthful icequeen routine or disgruntled paeon ramblings, so I disappear. CWAG nailed it in an email to me, she knows it's a survival tactic (and to add to that, also a not-boring-or-irritating-the-friends-or-family-to-death tactic too).

I still love ya all but sometimes my musings or rantings or attitude isn't fit for human consumption, so I fade out for a bit until I can deal again. I'd rather not make the human experience for all have even more strife (now not just for breakfast...lol). Writing about it on my blog doesn't alleviate the feelings - it only serves to make me more mired in whatever crappy mood I was in and isn't good for me. For that reason I tend to keep to myself because, in short (too late huh?), sometimes it's just too ugly for even me to deal with much less inflict on someone else.

I know these are the things that make us human, but they are also very intimately personal and I am not willing or ready to go public with my less than flattering thoughts about myself, life, and love.

Don't worry, I will always come back to the blog and always email my friends...It's just a question of when the mood lifts.

2005-12-01T01:58:00.000-07:00

The lesser known

"Swedish Sauna Smurf"

2005-12-01T01:54:00.000-07:00

Happy belated CBW!

2005-12-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

For CWAG.
=)

Happy Cockblogging Wednesday!

2005-11-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Another lovely shot of Ronan. He "told" me he can be found at "For the Girls" which is a pay site if anyone is interested in seeing more (?) of him.

If ya love me, you'll put me in bunnies

2005-11-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

I just found Monty Python bunny slippers on a link at Shiny Tacky People and I adore them. So, if you believe Drake needs an Xmas or B-day gift due to her lovely blogging (or if you are her friend in real life and wish to give her something she will love and hug and squeeze and call George, or just adore for their entire life with her - hint, hint). Will beg for bunnies!

2005-11-10T00:47:00.000-07:00

Here's a present for all - courtesy of Ronan who has a lovely body. Happy CockBloggingWednesday -or close to it!

2005-11-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

I wish this grew on trees *sigh*...I know some women and some men who'd be happy!

2005-11-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

*Ignore the man standing behind the couch*
...lol

Apology

2005-11-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry dears,

Haven't had the time or energy to blog as I promised...So, to make-up for my lack of posts (sort of) I am posting two pics for Cockblogging Wednesday! I will pop back later tonight to post something with writing.

Have a great day, night, or whatever!

To What End?

2005-10-23T07:04:00.000-06:00

Let me start by stating that I am not an Angel or a Saint - I fully know this and admit to it. I simply get tired of reading about the right-wingers et al who couldn't give a rip about anyone else in the Universe except themselves and their money. CWAG and I had a bit of discussion on IM about this last night.

I am not the disenfranchised youth or a whiner. I simply find it disgusting that some people and corporations worship money above all and will go to any lengths to get it...Yes, please rape our rainforests and make sure that the oceans and the ozone are wiped out along with the forests. Also, please believe that sooner or later, you and all of the rest of us will pay for all the imbalance we have created on our planet and allowed to continue unchecked. I am not the Armegeddon chicken-little but from my biology degree I am well aware that once one ecosystem is off balance others suffer - sometimes the extreme result is the extinction of the dominant species of an area. I also know that we have a limited supply of resources and an overpopulated world.

The distribution of wealth in the U.S. is appalling. In my area a severe problem is the minimum wage. I believe the minimum wage in Colorado is $5.35 or so. I remember minimum wage being $3.35 when I was 19, great progress of the wage scale over *clearing throat* 20 years to the whopping $5.35. I pity anyone who has to take a minimum wage job...Now, try not to judge for two seconds because believe it or not, not all people who work minimum wage are unskilled laborers. Some are older retired people who can't afford to live off what they amassed for retirement, others are people who have fallen from grace and been laid off or have suffered financial collapse. I know some of you are scoffing and can't imagine that having to resort to a minimum wage job could happen to you. Reversal of fortune can happen to anyone in the blink of an eye...Look at MCI Worldcom employees or Enron or many present day IT professionals or call center workers or metal workers whose jobs have been shipped overseas so the big corporations can save a buck or so. Plus, I know many of you aren't prepared for retirement and have a lot of debt according to what I hear and stats I have seen. I also know as we age more problems occur with our bodies - think how some devastating med bills could shake your world up when you are aged or a great jump in your property taxes as time passes.

I know what it feels like to have to sell your house, suck-it-up, and take a $7/hour job just to get by. I was laid off from IT and couldn't find a semi-decent job for two years, during which no higher (than the $7/hour job) paying semi-skilled business would touch me since "she's desperate and will just leave in a few weeks with all her experience and she's way smarter than us." Yes, this is a quote - I actually accidentally got to hear what two managers said about me after an interview...My friend who I was living with at the time got me the interview and told me to stay in the front foyer after the interview and call her to come talk with me about how it went. The interviewing room was right next to the front foyer, and wasn't sound proofed nor did any of the oh-so-intelligent people working there check to see if sound travelled outside the room. Yes, I was desperate but I sincerely wanted that job and would have stayed at it and put forth my best effort (think someone intelligent might be sincerely interested in your job or that having someone intelligent might make you look better - threatened much?). In hindsight it is better that I didn't get the job (claims in an insurance call center).

As for outsourcing I know you are saying to yourself, "yes but the workers in the other coutries need that money." True, but the workers in Jamaica in "Life and Debt" barely make any money working for large U.S. Corporations and are treated as slaves - this is most likely true for all outsourced workers (I am willing to bet on this). The country of Jamaica is also being squeezed out of the running to export anything and their currency is getting weaker and weaker as well as their ability to produce to support their country. Go rent "the Corporation" and you can see and hear for yourself how U.S. Corporations are allowed to run amok and legislature has supported this.

From what I have observed workers in this country only work as hard as they have to so they don't get fired and the corporations only pay as much as they have to to keep you (on the hand to mouth pay plan in most all industries, which is extremely disheartening). I have taken casual polls in my workplace to see how many people actually like their jobs...In the Insurance Call Center - 2 out of 127, the IT job - 18 out of 25, the lumber yard - 5 out of 78. There is a correlation between money and happiness even if we are still fed crap from Corporations and media about being "fulfilled" in our jobs and feeling lucky to have one. Um, I love software testing and would love to get back to the industry because I am particularly skilled at the job and enjoy it, even though I know I would go back to a pay cut ...I am not saying that I would do the job for free - I have debts and my own mouth to feed. If I were independantly wealthy I might have a business of my own that would encorporate IT and perhaps do some software testing just to keep my skills sharp (and hell yeah, I would travel all over the globe and make sure that I gave back to the community and the world). Don't misinterpret what I am saying in this post, I don't believe wealth or affluence is evil but you do have a responsibility to make money ethically and morally or you will be cosmically (or perhaps karmically) bitch-slapped.

On top of this when I think of George Bush I want to spit red-hot nails. Georgie and his diptacular regime are another blog post entirely. Basically, I can understand why our youth is so depressed but what they see and hear - I feel that way often. And yes, you can read this and say, "oh how sad" and go back to your tv program or whatever else entertains you and not do anything about any of this, but to what end?

Shoe Whore and Glitter Ho

2005-10-22T00:43:00.000-06:00

Yes, the long awaited Barbie in the City action figures are now here in your local stores! Watch Shoe Whore Barbie try to schmooze the salesgirl at Manolo's with her Chanel sample sale invitation with one guest allowed to get 50% off her footwear. Marvel as Glitter Ho Barbie blinds several of her admirers (*shocked onlookers*) with her oh-so-sparkly eye-shadow and they don't care because she was, "fabulous to behold.".

No, they would've been Shoe Whore and Bag Hag Barbies, I know, but this works for my purpose, so hush. I am confessing my love of shoes and glitter. This will come as no surprise to Holden since he used to tell me that I was a gay man trapped in a woman's body. Holden dear, I think I am more like a drag queen trapped in a woman's body sometimes.

*photo of Randy Roberts courtesy of drag queen link above

I would love to be able to find more places where I could simply be dressed as outrageously as possible with sparkly makeup to blind ya, and high heels that would give a nosebleed to the wearer. This could be why I love Halloween and dressing like a junior ho (when I was thinner) on the holiday when I have a place to go - reminds me of when I was little and played dress-up. As a child sometimes when I was bored (often since I was an only child) I would go play dress up with Mom's things...I was covered in makeup, powder, perfume, and some outrageous thing I had pieced together from scarves in my mother's bureau - simma down, I was about 10 and for you pervs who are salivating over this *LEAVE*. I loved stomping around in her high heels too - lucky I didn't break my neck or her heels.

Speaking of heels, I can usually find lovely things at Manolo's Shoe Blog. The blogger isn't Manolo Blahnik of course, but he's extremely amusing and entertaining! If you haven't popped into his blog, you should, just for the sheer entertainment value. I would never pay that much for a shoe, boot, sandal, etc. but it's nice to dream and laugh at his depictions of Karl Lagerfeld . Plus, let's all remember the fashion industry and makeup trends are simply there to market crap to us all that we don't need. Crap it is, but sometimes it's fun crap (as long as you know not to get into debt for the crap or sell your children, etc).

I have a small agenda today, Nordie's (translation: Nordstrom's) has some glittery makeup from M.A.C. (my favorite) on their latest advert - Saints save me!!!! I'll just pop into the mall to check it out.

NO, this post hasn't been a paid advert for anyone! I just love shoes and glitter even if they are crap.

Love ya'll.

Countdown

2005-10-22T00:35:00.000-06:00

*sigh* Just whining about going to the new job on Monday and being a drone.

Craptacular Me

2005-10-19T23:18:00.000-06:00

Curious about me? Try this link to find out more than you probably ever wanted to know.

TGICW

2005-10-19T16:48:00.000-06:00

Figured everyone could stand a bit of body with their cockblogging Wednesday. Have a good one!

Natural Forms - NOT a porn link

2005-10-18T01:02:00.000-06:00

I was just zipping 'round the web trying to find a link I had found months ago showing labia photos from several different women (not porn photos - scientific study, actually). I only found one link that shows a few artist renderings of labial variations.

I am concerned with the trend of women having their labia altered. It's too bad that many women are freaked over their labia and think they are ugly or fat. But like everything else we see what others have and compare and find ours lacking or never see anything that compares to ours...Porn stars are composed from silicone, botox, and surgical alterations so it seems no one really sees any real people anymore.

Variety is the spice of life...Go get a mirror girls, strip down and learn to love yourself (the way you look "south of the border" or whatever makes you happy once you are there *wink*).

Amused, Bemused, Excused

2005-10-16T22:01:00.000-06:00

Tonight I went shopping for groceries (I am semi-nocturnal). While I my cart items were being checked out, I was joking with the bag boy and another cashier about nothing in particular. My cashier wasn't up to joining the amusement and decided for whatever reason to comment on my purse. She wondered aloud what was with my purse since it was "kinda butch." Me, being the smartass that I am and finding her comment rude, quickly told her it was more like a Dominatrix* purse and that was all she needed to know. The look she gave made me wonder if Satan had appeared behind me and she was quick to say, "we're done now." I smirked all the way out of the store. I was actually just playing with her and didn't expect this kind of response since it was clear I was joking with the other cashier and bag boy right next to her.

Dominatrixes aren't big bad people and just like everyone Doms/Dommes/submissives/Switches have their own personalities and tastes which don't necessarily run into the masochism or sadism paths. I have known male and female dominants and submissives as well - they just have a different way of looking at life and sexuality. I always forget that sometimes my open mind and experimental personality may be a bit much for the people in this state.

*Drake isn't a dominant, submissive, or switch but does play one on tv - definitions and a view from a professional Dominatrix can be found at Mistress Matisses' Journal

Halloween Themes

2005-10-16T06:09:00.000-06:00

I awakened from my whopping 4 hours of sleep today with a PMS/stress headache and started doing some crossword puzzles on software I have but became bored and decided to come blogging (now that I am concentrated on something else, the headache is lessening).

Anyway, I found some good sites for free (yes, my favorite word) Halloween Wallpapers, Screensavers, Themes for your computer, etc at Halloweenscreensavers which has no spyware, adware, and has been virus checked as well as having IBM compatible stuff and a link for Apple systems as well - the only drawback to this page is that you must download through Microsoft Internet Explorer (MIE) version 5.0 or higher (I have a proprietary browser from my ISP but I simply launch MIE from my desktop and cut and copy the URL from one browser to another. Oh, and another little annoyance is that the screensavers have the obligatory URL scrolling name or URL box that moves up and down the screen pointing you to where to purchase the software instead of just trying it out. I tend to penny-pinch and I miss the 90's when you could get great quality stuff on the internet for free...But it's just nice to be able to update my theme for upcoming holidays, so I will try not to complain too much...lol

Anyway, I am going to take a nap. Enjoy!!!

BBA - bad bloggers anonymous

2005-10-13T20:34:00.000-06:00

Okay, before anyone gets any ideas that during the time I am gone I will never come back - I am in a 12 step program for bloggers who leave their blogs for unspecified periods of time and frustrate their readers or lurkers. I will attempt to do written *gasp* posts at least twice a week. Bear with me, I am starting a new job on Oct. 24th that may drain my creative resources, so please be patient when I have brain constipation.

Oh, and the little icon next to my blogs url is supposed to be a skull in case anyone was wondering. I just love Halloween!

2005-10-13T20:20:00.000-06:00

D/s-light, anyone?

Gender Bender?

2005-10-12T18:37:00.000-06:00

Here I was blogging my little heart out for cockblogging Wednesday (which for me is finding a nice pic since I am so lazy I usually don't write when I post), and on a wild hair decided to check out the cockblogging site and found a link with my blog in it proclaiming that "Guys Are Blogging Too." I do appreciate the author's noting my blog since Lord knows I could stand the traffic...I think there are three of us who actually come here (including myself). I can understand that my nom de plume is a bit misleading; however, I am fully female complete with the ovaries and two x-chromosomes that are fairly standard - go ask Holden or Chick w/ A Gun if you don't believe me. I mean they don't know about the ovaries or chromosomes but they can tell you I appear to be female and have no Adam's apple.

Sorry if I did mislead anyone or confuse anyone. I simply figured that because my profile states I am female (and everyone of course wants to know about me so they do go to my profile - lol) that pretty much sums my gender up from my standpoint. This mistake reminds me of my days that I used to go onto yahoo chat with many different profiles (many aeons ago)...Always amazed me that I was automatically presumed a girl when using the frilly, sexy, or nice handle (XTC, LiteMist, Sexalicious, capricious, Velveeta - part of Velveeta and Cholula, the twins) and was thought of as a man with others (I_C_calm, jaded1, steely-resolve, bleu_grey). Just chalk this mistake up to my gender blindness due to the experiments in chatrooms.

I used to revel in the fact that when I was in a male "guise" I wasn't going to get hit on in the chatrooms to have cybersex by the men. I did tell any woman who hit on me that I was female when in "male" handle. I basically found cybersex to be erotic creative writing, and I hate typing, so this wasn't a draw for me to be in the chatrooms. I did for the sake of science and curiousity (as well as flexing my creative writing muscles - wink, wink, nudge, nudge) partake in cybersex on occasion. What really drew me were my friends (all female) in the real world who would join me in the chatrooms. We used to "hang out" in the chat rooms and talk about our day or week since we were all in very different locations geographically and were too poor to afford to call on the phone. We also had discussions about some very interesting people in the chatrooms and there were many debates as to whether someone was actually who or what they claimed to be in those rooms. In chat there was an element of community, and like any neighborhood bar there were regulars who frequented the place. Getting to know different regulars was always quite amusing/entertaining/fun to boot in those chatrooms. I didn't come away with lifelong friends from yahoo chat but then again, I seldom form attachments with those I know I will never see in person. I do miss those days in chat and the lively discussions sometimes...Ah, frivolity and silliness have their place in life and I do remember those times fondly.

COCKblogging Wednesday

2005-10-12T17:44:00.000-06:00

*sigh* I love a nicely formed penis on cockblogging Wednesday (or any other day...lol)
Doesn't everyone?

So this is where Snuffleupagus has been hiding all these years.

2005-09-28T13:54:00.000-06:00

2005-09-28T12:05:00.000-06:00

Suddenly a voice penetrates your dull Wednesday musings, booming into your ear, "Thank God It's Cockbloggingwednesday." And once again, life is good, cocks are on display gratuitously, and all is right in the blogging world.

Hurricane Relief Fund Link

2005-09-03T01:16:00.000-06:00

Please donate to the
Hurricane Relief Fund Site -
I would expound on all the wreckage and devastation of these natural disasters but I have found that many, many others have done this more eloquently than I could. I do find these disasters profoundly saddening when I think of those who have lost their homes and/or loved ones - as most all of us do.

And Now, a Word from Mother Nature

2005-08-26T18:54:00.000-06:00

original found at World Wide Weird

2005-08-26T17:07:00.000-06:00

Equal time for those who appreciate the female form.

2005-08-26T17:05:00.000-06:00

More persuasion for Lisa.
Hope this helps warm your cockles or whatever works...*snort*

2005-08-17T10:51:00.000-06:00

More bribery for Lisa!

2005-08-17T10:48:00.000-06:00

Bribery for Lisa...lol

2005-08-14T19:00:00.000-06:00

A study in Fall Colors

2005-08-14T18:58:00.000-06:00

Ok, now that you got the nekkid pic fix,
go rent The Corporation!!!

Must See Movie

2005-08-14T18:55:00.000-06:00

I just watched "The Corporation" and loved it. If any of you who read my blog actually care about the degrading state of our nation, appalling lack of jobs at which you can earn a living wage, or simply find that as you mature you understand that corporations couldn't give a tepid damn about you - they only about care about the bottom line...Then this movie is a must see!!!

2005-07-10T21:34:00.000-06:00

Happy Belated B-day, Holden!

2005-07-10T21:33:00.000-06:00

I know, waaaaay belated...Sorry Holden.

Mea Maxima Culpa

2005-06-09T23:08:00.000-06:00

So the picture of me I just put on the blog doesn't look like my profile picture. I will confess, the profile picture is of my cousin. My cousin is a future model for the next Crabs Illustrated shellwear issue. I just didn't feel comfortable with showing ya'll my hairy legs and googly eyes right off the bat, plus the fact my shell is huge in comparison to hers makes me feel like a big 'ole octupus next to her. I know it was wrong to do this and I apologize for the deception. All you guys who sent me proposals to run off and get a nice big shell for two - I am so, so, so sorry that I lied to you.

Can ya'll forgive me for the deception?

2005-06-09T22:57:00.000-06:00

Me, having a bad shell day.

2005-06-09T22:20:00.000-06:00

Paying to bang two chicks at the same time - $80
Being paid to bang two chicks on camera - $500

Being able to fool the paying masses with a photoshopped picture that shows your cock is huge - PRICELE$$

2005-06-09T22:09:00.000-06:00

Portrait of a Fisherman

and his worm

All watch and no action?

2005-06-04T21:49:00.000-06:00

I was speaking with a few co-workers about nothing in particular the other day. During the conversation several references from television were thrown about casually and most all understood. Character voices and phrases from Southpark, Star Trek, and Star Wars peppered our conversation. I am wondering whether most all of us have become television hip-mo-tized junkies because this occurs frequently whenever I get together with friends or co-workers. I recall talking to a friend a few years ago about being free and clean from television for at least three months - he took the plunge and swore that you get your life back once you do this. I was very cynical and, like most junkies, denied that I needed to get away from the boob tube. I know television for me is easy entertainment, comforting background noise, mindless diversion, and, quite frankly, a way to avoid those ugly nagging thoughts in the back of my mind like do I go back to college yet again, and for what exact goal since my present vocation bites - I am ill suited for insurance and contact with the generally insecure, drooling masses or maybe I am just too demanding...Nah, that couldn't be the issue.

Yet another problem for me to break from the boring braindead television routine, is that anyone around my own age is usually married with children, and in Colorado this is a death sentence...Once you have children in this town you don't go out and do things away from the kids for very long, if at all. There are times I can understand this since decent babysitters aren't easy on the budget but most people I used to associate with who had this problem were well off financially. Even my friends with pets rush home after putting in a brief appearance which I can understand - wouldn't want Fido doing the "gotta go cha-cha" and then having an accident on the parquet tiling. I can even justify the sense of responsibility for a child or pet but still...I know, I know - I could go by myself and do activities, but I don't have as much fun as I do when I am with a friend or friends. I love the interaction and conversation with another person when you are doing an activity or afterward (e.g. going to the opera or symphony, or viewing work in an art gallery). I do read on occasion but my zest for fantasy and science fiction has waned over the years and I haven't developed much love for any other genre of writing. Maybe the best course of action for me is simply to get back to college so I can have the social and intellectual stimulation I am missing so acutely right now.

Even though I am a native of Colorado and still revel in the beauty of this area, I can't help but think this state is a dead end for social activities, dating, and careers.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Go Figure

2005-05-14T20:07:00.000-06:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Okay, so I agree with all except levels 7, 8, and 9 - I am not violent in any manner nor vaguely malicious, a panderer, fraudulent, or treacherous...Must be something wrong with the code in this since I didn't answer any questions that would lead to a high scoring for violence. I should wring the programmers neck for this...KIDDING!

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

2005-04-25T22:41:00.000-06:00

And as we know - I love water pics.

2005-04-25T22:38:00.000-06:00

One down four to go. Lay back and relax.

Can I get a blogagra, please?

2005-04-19T21:41:00.000-06:00

Sorry dear, not tonight. No, I don't have a headache. Perhaps we should sit down and have a chat. Now don't look shocked and please, don't cry. Lately, it's been more and more difficult for me to blog you. No, no, it's not you - it's me. Maybe I miss the times when it was all new and fresh and just for fun. Now, it seems more and more like a chore to me, and I am uninspired lately. Not to make excuses but I am so tired once I get home from work that all I want to do is fix dinner, veg out, and perhaps watch some television. All day long I have wonderful entertaining things I can't wait to tell you but once the end of the day comes 'round I can barely think straight, much less remember that great things I was bursting to tell you.

Now don't get me wrong, please. I still love you and want to be be with you but maybe...Maybe, I just need to take a small breather, relax, and we'll find I come back with a vengence to blog you like I have never blogged before. Could be that all we are lacking is a bit of intimacy and me revealing some very deep dark things about myself or perhaps I don't entertain you enough. I thought I had begun to approach that but sometimes it seems all you want is porn, and entertainment all the time...Good grief, I am not a machine and can't constantly keep up that pace, nor do I find that fun all the time. I will try to reveal more of my inner workings to you if you can try to at least understand that I have needs as well. I will see you a bit later (I can't tell you when later is exactly) and promise to try to be more entertaining. Let me reassure you - I won't be gone forever, and will check in from time to time to chat or just tell you about my idle musings.

Goodnight darling bloggie.
*smootchies*

Am I frying now?..Good. Pisser's Questions

2005-04-13T22:08:00.000-06:00

Weeeeellll, I took the pisser challenge and got some questions.

P:   You did ask, did you not? ;)

P:   Feel free to expand.

Q 1. Which, in your opinion, is it best to be - first-born, middle
    child, "the baby", or only child?

ME:  I believe being an only child is best, which I am (SURPRISE...lol).
I got all the love and attention, grew up around adults, and was
more confidentand intellectually nurtured than any of my friends
(who aren't onlies).  I learned to be more resourceful and creative
than those with sibs, and didn't have to share any clothing or
anything else with anyone ever.  Nor did anyone bother me.
I had a friend who says that he was stilted socially by being an
only - I don't feel this to be true about myself.
I am simply introverted, like to work alone, and always have been
this way.


Q 2. How overweight is overweight...? I'm asking because every time I
read some smut about a "fat actress", or someone's BEFORE picture,
they're MY weight. Ptoo.

ME:  Hmmmm, I am bigger than Kirstie Alley at her largest and am 5'5".
When I was my thinnest I was still a size 10/11.  I am mesomorph
or a mezzosoprano - somethin' like that.  ;)

Q 3. Do we really give a hot damn? How 'bout a warm damn...?

ME:  Do I hear a "tepid damn?"  Haven't a clue if ya'll give a damn
or not, I was just venting.  

Q 4. Why the hermit crab? I'm not sure, but I LIKE IT!!!

ME:  Well, it pretty much embodies me.  I prefer solitude unless the
company is really good, have a tough outer shell, followed by a hard
exterior, and then a softcreamy middle (emotionally).  Most
don't get to the soft and creamy middle.  I have been called a
bitch more times than I care to think about just because I am
blunt at times, along with being aloofish, brusque, cynical,
and sarcastic even though I don't usually direct this toward
anyone.  I also feel I have seen too much, and know too much
of the weirdness of the world firsthand.   Therefore, I am
crabby (and jaded).
      Glad you like Bluey the Crab. =)

Q 5. Why the "severe dislike" for your present vocation? Why "severe
   dislike" rather than "hate"? I'm sensing that there is something you
   like about it. Are you going to 'fess up or are you about to cross the
   line into sheer hatred...?

ME:  Brace yourself, lame truth ahead...I try to say, "dislike" or
"severe dislike"instead of hatred just to make myself try to
look on the bright side.  I was unemployed for about two years after
being laid off from being a techie nerd (I loved that job).  I really
don't like being an insurance agent in a call center - first, the
subject is boring.  Second, the job lacks any creative outlet.  Third,
I really dislike dealing with stupid or belligerent people who simply
won't shut up so I can try to tell them something. Even if I dislike
the job, I am a professional and do know what I am talking about
so when I get someone who doesn't listen it's simply frustrating.
Fourth, you can tell from people's tone of voice when they tune out
or glaze over and again, this is frustrating.  I don't want to
"sound" cliched, but your insurance is important so pay attention,
and if you don't understand ask questions.  I am polite and try to
explain many ways to help the customer understand. And lastly,
like men,derive my self satisfaction from my work, mainly, and
this job ain't cutting it.

Thanks!
-Pisser

No, thank you, Pisser (and the frying reference was for me being in the hotseat, and
an homage to your no sound and fury post).

=)

And the stupid shall inherit the Earth

2005-04-12T19:08:00.000-06:00

Well perfect, just when you think the world has somewhat stabilized into a semi-familiar mess then this happens:

Spears Reveals Pregnancy on Her Web Site

NEW YORK (AP) - Britney Spears has revealed what might be Hollywood's worst-kept secret: She's pregnant. In a posting on her Web site, Spears told fans that she and husband, Kevin Federline, were expecting their first child together. Her publicist, Sonia Muckle, confirmed the singer's pregnancy Tuesday but refused to provide additional details.

``The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together,'' the singer said. ``There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, and Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.''

The couple were married in September. Magazines and tabloids have speculated for weeks that Spears, 23, was pregnant, documenting her expanding waistline and fuller figure, but she remained mum on the subject.

However, she has previously expressed a desire to start a family. In an interview with People magazine last fall, she said: ``I want to be a young mom. I can see us as parents.''

While this will be Spears' first foray into parenthood, Federline, 27, has two children with his ex-girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson. Spears and Federline met last year when he was a backup dancer on her tour - and Jackson was pregnant with their son.

Spears wed Federline just eight months after ending a 55-hour Las Vegas marriage to her childhood friend, Jason Alexander. Her second marriage has provided endless fodder for tabloids, which have speculated that the union is in trouble - prompting an angry outburst from Spears on her Web site last month.

Yet the couple have hardly hid from the limelight - last week, the pair announced they would document their courtship in a new reality series on UPN. The network promised ``exclusive, never-before-seen private home videos'' of their ``personal love story.''

Okay, I almost just yakked up all my dinner reading this piece of crap...Like tacky stupid people need to be breeding to add more tacky stupid people to this earth. *sigh* And as for never seen private home videos I can only hope it's not the Pamela Lee/Tommy fodder but with this couple of twits you can only imagine.

So, since Britney paid Ho-Magnet, er, I mean Kevin to marry her and knock her up I can only wonder how long the marriage will last after Twit (er, um Brit) has launched Kevvy dear's career and he's cruising for a better meal ticket or simply doesn't need her anymore. I have to agree with Christina Aguilera that Britney is a lost, little girl searching. And if you consider what she comes from, who is to blame - a father that says, when asked about the kiss with Madonna says, "it was cute." And I am amazed my eyes don't just roll out of my head sometimes at the rate they spin after reading things like this.

Hey, maybe those of us who are intelligent should start breeding furiously to negate the durrrr (dumb people's) overpopulation of the earth...Nah, we're to responsible and smart to do that to the planet. Nevermind. I guess we just have to suffer more people who'd vote for a G.W. Bush-type in the future. Yee-haw.

Just giving you vapid things to think about.

First Born Children are more Intelligent?

2005-04-10T18:42:00.000-06:00

Staring me in the face in my snippets o'trivia pop-up was this little gem:

Startling News About First-Born Children

First-born children are smarter, get a better education, and are more successful professionally than their younger siblings. That's the startling conclusion of a joint U.S.-Norwegian study that determined it is the birth order and not necessarily the size of the family that is important to adult success. "It is better if you are the first-born," study leader and economics professor Kjell Salvanes of the Norwegian School of Economics and Business Administration told Reuters. "In terms of educational attainment, if you are the fourth-born instead of the first, you get almost one year less education, and that is quite a lot."

Salvanes and his team from the University of California, Los Angeles analyzed census data of Norwegians born between 1912 and 1975. They found that younger siblings not only tend to get less education than the older kids it the family, but also earn less pay and are more likely to find only part-time work. The findings hold true for other countries besides Norway.

Why are first-borns so blessed?
Salvanes has several reasons. --First-borns typically weigh more than their younger brothers and sisters, and previous research has shown that heavier birth weight is a good predictor for educational success.
--Children who have time alone with two adults and no siblings vying for attention get more intellectual stimulation than children in large families who get less parental attention.
--First-borns learn a lot when they teach their younger sibs--more than the younger ones learn from being instructed by an older brother or sister.

But does this mean that first-born children are really smarter?
"Yes," Salvanes told Reuters. "It's hard to admit because I have older sisters." The study findings were published in the Quarterly Journal of Economics, a Harvard publication.

Let's do some research on only children -does this apply for low birth weight onlies???? I was a small, lightweight baby but I had all my mother's attention while she was there or played alone and fantasized alone. I taught the kids around the neighborhood many things. Oh well, whatever.

Low Priced Fat People

2005-04-09T22:34:00.000-06:00

Quick!!! Run and get one or two of these jolly, cuddly, fluffy people to have fun with and trade with your friends...Granted they do eat a ton, but so do horses, plus horses can't interact with you in the same way and fat people are always discounted since no one wants them!

Just kidding, I went into a search engine and typed "fat people" and found that eBay has "Low Priced Fat People Huge Selection! (aff)"...Wow, I thought we had outlawed the sale of people in the U.S. but maybe a new trend is coming around, and I, for one will be jumping onto the money train when I sell myself at a per pound price.

I just composed an email to my friend, Holden, who is undertall as I am. I really have begun to believe that fat is the new leprosy. I tell a man that I am casually talking to (and have implicitly told I am not into any romance crap) that I am overweight and get a cool picture of a fat woman with a thong peeking over the low rise jeans representing Kentucky versus the gorgeous skinny woman smoking a cig with the thong peeking over the low rise jeans representing France (although you know she is heading for cancer from all the cigarettes she smokes), and I am expected to find this amusing. Yes, it's hilarious since, of course, I obviously have no emotions 'cause they left when my hipbones disappeared (just a quick trivia factoid - little known medical fact that fat people don't need to be treated with kindness, consideration, or common manners since they lack the ability to feel because the emotions get padded along with the body).

Truly, I am not amused and feel this is akin to when I used to date a guy who'd make jokes at my expense, and then defend himself when I was hurt and angry by declaring "it's just a joke." I still don't seem to be laughing. I began the journey to obese spurred on from depression and eating was the only thing that my boyfriend at the time and I had in common when the relationship was dying due to issues between us. No, don't cry for me, I did do this to myself and have erected an effective padded wall between myself and having to deal with insensitive men (or men at all), my inability to express myself about said insensitivity, and my feelings of being ineffectual and out of control where men are concerned. And the reactions from the general public about that transition have been amusing at best and rude/shocking at worst.

I have found that salespeople are more reluctant to come up and ask if I need help (not such a big thing since I hate being annoyed by salespeople anyway). Men tend to act as though I am now invisible unless they have to acknowledge me (supervisors, friends of friends) or I am their "buddy" (complete with the hit on the arm) - huge shocking difference from how I was treated when I was a "normal" weight. Women are either okay with me or act as though I am invisible just like the men...Perhaps they are worried that much like leprosy, this affliction can be passed to them, so they must move by as quickly as possible and not make eye contact lest I speak with them or touch them.

I have always had friends of all types and have appreciated them each for their uniquely wonderful qualities, but do know, and never have had any delusions, that when you are bigger people simply don't find you as attractive as someone with less bulk; however, I read the other day that in a poll of college students in the U.S., students would rather marry a drug addict or alcoholic than a fat person. Wow, that's shockingly telling...So, it's okay if you have anorexia or bulimia but if you are "fat" you are simply a lazy fuck who overeats.

Damn, our society is fucked up. I can easily maintain my weight and I don't eat much food - I am simply not as active as I use to be and now I have to burn extra calories to lose weight. I do have an eating disorder and always have (I was heading toward anorexia at one point long ago), but I won't be stabbing you over the fact I can't score an almond joy, cleaning the house furiously from the "sugar high", or pass out from a food induced coma face down in a pool of my own vomit either. Plus, I hold down a job quite effectively, even if I despise it. And you won't find that I am cruising any bad neighborhoods or have sold the house to support my sugar habit. I simply have learned to use food to stuff down the problems and, literally, eat them. Not effective really, but when you are a little child and Gramma "the cook" pushes food at you to solve problems, you catch on that there won't be any discussions, hugs, or resolutions, and food is your buddy now.

My Mother being a schizophrenic who went to the mental hospital about every 1-3 years for a minimum of three month stay didn't help things, nor did being a sensitive child. I didn't really know what set Mom off for the longest time since it was a big, dark, embarrassing family secret (and to this day if you ask my mother's sane brother - she has no problem). When Mom had to go away I got to be with Grandma (who was old, crabby as hell, tired, and hated life and children in her later years - I can understand, it's not easy dealing with children who have a mental illness and caring for them is exhausting), and Mom's other brother who was also a schizophrenic and had violent tendencies. Since I wasn't sure what made Mom go to the hospital and it was horrid being alone or with Grandma, I made sure I was the best child in the universe and never bothered anyone but especially Mother with any of my problems. I learned to try to deal with it, cry a lot in private, stuff it down, and if it still bothered me, eat it with my Grandma's blessings (looking back I wonder if Gramma was preparing me for the oven, that's how much I was fed).

I am an adult now and am working through all the years of conditioning myself to eat my anger, eat my hurt, eat the conflict...It's my choice not to continue this behavior, and I am working on it (backsliding does occur at times). If anyone reading this blog can't deal with the fact that a "fat chick" is writing this blog or has some interesting comments to make, please bring it on. Thing is, unless you live it, you don't know how things really are...So once again, making generalized statements about anyone always makes me cringe and move away from the speaker - I've seen a lot and been through a lot in my life and unless you do walk a mile in that person's shoes you have no idea how it feels, nor can you know with any surety that you would definitely do this or that unless you are in that situation...Shit happens and life can collapse on you like a black hole. Try to open your minds a bit, you may find things more interesting and acquire more friends that way.

Back By Popular Demand - Sultry Monday

2005-04-04T21:33:00.000-06:00

I just love water pictures...Don't you?

2005-04-04T21:23:00.000-06:00

Ah, nice stretch. (Stretch is Ron's penis' nickname.)

ODE to a superfluous bitch (mortgagee representative)

2005-04-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

Here's to you, I am sure you are more than experienced at dropping to your knees for any commision and all I wish to say is:

Where's the gay Brawny dude?

2005-03-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

I had a brilliant post that I spent 3 hours on and then this!!!!

(Original link found here)

Part two of me, me, me, and more about me

2005-03-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

I wore braces when I was 13 because one of my "baby" canine teeth refused to come out and it's adult replacement decided to come down into the roof of my mouth...I thought not having canines would be aesthetically displeasing (what a fool) so I endured 1.5 years of having braces - my palate had a hole to allow the tooth to come down drilled through it, my adult canine pulled forward over the course of a year or so. Those braces hurt like hell!!
I was a band geek in high school. I joined since all my friends wanted to be there...My senior year I was co-captain of the color guard.
For seven years I played the clarinet and was in marching and concert band.
I thought most of the band folk were weird or trying to hard to prove they weren't geeks (the pot-headed drummers and band-hos to start with).
I was in one of the most famous militant summer bands for my state and stayed in about one month before I quit since, well, the band was composed of aggressive, power-starved, control-issued people who were militant assholes on top of it all.
I may be fairly relaxed about myself but if I find someone weak who can't defend themselves being bullied, I will find the bullies psychological weaknesses and use them against him. Fairly effective, and I only use this power for good. LOL
I hate injustices that I perceive in the world.
If I drink anything alcoholic, it can't taste like alcohol or I don't like it.
I don't like beer, ale, or anything bitter that is alcohol.
I haven't been drunk since 1997.
I love haute couture but would never waste a ton of money on trendy clothing even if I could.
I hate that women are judged by their exterior primarily and develop eating disorders and unimaginably fucked-up body images because of it.
I am pro-choice...Once you find a way to support an embryo outside a woman's body then yea-haw, please do so, and never try to tell me what to do with my own body again.
I admire some tattoos but just can't see or envision one on myself.
I love haute couture shoes and would buy some if I had the money to do so.
I have had men offer to buy me haute couture and/or shoes (I declined).
I never want to owe anyone anything and will never be "owned" by anyone.
I have a ton of sexy lingerie and 7 sex toys.
I adore silk, satin, marabou mules, stillettos, thigh-high boots, georgette, any clothing cut on the bias, and nail-polish.
I once owned around 75 nail-polishes.
I prefer to dress casually most of the time.
I enjoy being seduced or seducing equally.
I love unexpected gifts from friends.
I like planning events but do have sudden surges of spontaneity that usually takes people by surprise.
I have been called "catlike" by several men. I was called inconsistent by one who couldn't figure me out and was annoyed by this fact (whatevah, wanker).
If I ever had the money to, I would take all my closest friends on an ocean cruise with me someplace tropical.
I love hugs and massages, and love to give them too.
I don't wear a watch - ever...I have two watches that stay at home - one is for nighttime outings (it's gorgeous), and a practical one for daytime.
I don't like time constraints even though I can work with them and make deadlines.
I am a bit messy and have to organize each weekend to straighten my desk, closet, bathroom, etc, up.
I am a night person and truly don't like mornings.
I love swimming, aerobics, tennis, and hate running.
I love the autumn and winter seasons.
My favorite holiday is Halloween and had 1 inch black nails with a lovely copper cracked foil effect over the black last Halloween.
I am very detail oriented, and can be self-critical at times.
I prefer to follow, unless the leader is an idiot and then I'll take charge.
I dislike pretentious people, corporate ass-kissers, right-wingers, illogical people, attention whores, ignorant, loud, obnoxious people.
If you try to make me do something I don't want to do and don't provide some valid logical discussion, you are trying to move an immovable object.
I love playing in the rain when it's very warm outside.
I enjoy kissing immensely.
I took music theory and one vocal training class in college for fun.
I distrust authority figures.

102 things about me - in two servings

2005-03-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

I don't like watching any sports and couldn't care less about them.
I like solitude and quiet but can enjoy a good one-on-one conversation if the person I am talking to is interesting.
I am left handed, can roll my tongue, have curved pinky fingers, have attached earlobes, no widows-peak, and have blue-grey eyes.
I define a "friend" as someone who will be around during my good times and my bad and listen to both - not just a fun friend (a.k.a. fair weather friend). If I don't like you, I will speak with you as little as possible.
I am extremely loyal to my friends and love them more than they probably know.
I tend to watch people in party situations to see if I find them interesting or find them worth approaching.
I listen very well...So well that most people tend to spill all kinds of private information the first time I speak with them.
I am old enough that I really don't care what most people think of me.
I am an only child who was brought up by a single parent.
I got my first gray hair when I was 23 (and screamed about it, to the amusement of one of my friends who was there to witness this).
I tend not to put enough time or effort into my friendships.
I tend to call people I like, goofy pet names like my little pancetta, fluffer-nutter, cute and fuzzy bunny, etc, at times.
I prefer tall men with dark hair over men with red or blonde hair.
I am a sucker for a man with a solid intellect and a good sense of humor who isn't boorish or ego-maniacal.
I had my first real boyfriend when I was 19....I lost my virginity at 19.
I am driven by a good intellectual challenge and enjoy the process more, at times, than the result.
The car I have now is my first car I ever drove off the lot new (and probably the last - demon depreciation).
I can't get the rhythm down to accomplish manual shifting well at all, and learned to drive, and prefer to drive, an automatic.
When I was younger I did a research internship in Reno, NV for the summer at UNR in their Chemistry department.
As a result of the internship I decided that I didn't want to work in a lab by myself all the time.
I would love to work in a Quantitative Analysis Lab, by myself, all the time, now.
I didn't hold a job until I was 19 - waitress in a posh restaurant in my hometown.
I didn't another job again until I was 24 years old - cashier/salesperson in a hardware store/lumberyard...Learned a lot and still have lots of knowledge from this.
Also, the first and last job I was called a bitch at when I wasn't even being a bitch (got the guy who called me that fired).
My friends and I were contemplating graduate school at CSU and spent a weekend being wined, dined, and chatted up by their faculty to get us to do graduate degrees there.
Most men I date are over 6 feet tall.
I tend to find alternative religions (not the norm): Druidism, Wicca, Pagan, etc., interesting in their own way. I have dated two Wiccans.
I am an atheist but was raised as a Catholic and was confirmed.
I find astrology, tarot, psychics, etc mildly entertaining.
I am an iconoclast.
I don't tend to trust many people with my inner thoughts or feelings and then when I do, if disappointed become disillusioned with that person and tend to avoid them.
I dislike talking on the phone, I would rather talk to someone in person.
I do not want children and the jury is out on pets for the moment.
I had a friend who totally corrupted me on the web by taking me to smutty chatsites and alternative lifestyle sites.
I used to be sweet, naive, and empathetic beyond belief.
I have had phone sex with two men and only enjoyed it once (so the second time doesn't count...heehee).
If a man is very skilled sensually and sexually, I am putty in his hands (to an extent).
I used to go to a public park after dark with a friend and play on the swingsets tire swing, monkey bars, etc. which I found was the most fun I ever had with someone and it wasn't sex!
I used to think if you were good at something it didn't have much value and you should choose something you weren't good at to perfect yourself.
If I would have done what I wanted that I was good at, I would be a dancer or a vocalist (and Hoochie Spears would have never been popular...lol).
I am extremely charming when I wish to be.
I have been called everything from cute, to pretty, to beautiful (c'mon, with a mug like the one on the right, who wouldn't think this?)...My body's too crabbilicious for ya.
I have experienced that anytime a heterosexual man wants to be your "friend" he really wants to date you (or fuck you...some men I've known with ulterior motives have been basic and transparent).
I once wanted to become a botanist or master gardener.
I changed my major in college 4 times before I settled on one.
I was proposed to 3 times and engaged once.
I have a mild fear of heights.
I will be painting each of my toenails individual colors to represent little Easter eggs for the holiday.
Due to my biology background, I find many things that other people find gross just funny as hell, or doesn't bother me at all (I've seen three cadavers and many dead animals up close).
I would love to get my hands on those Harry Potter Bertie Botts all-flavor jelly beans and try every single one (even the gross ones) but I am not going out of my way.
When I become nervous or stressed, I either bite my nails or my lips on the corners.
I love having deep tissue massages - this are the only thing that really relaxes me.
I believe in science and logic.
Whatever I draw free-hand comes out as a cartoon.
I am leaning more toward the left politically as I age and find people's apathy simply disgusting about some issues within the U.S.
I've only had amazing sex that rendered me speechless once, and could live without having a partner ever again.
I tend to not answer the door unless I know someone will be coming to my house (salespeople and kids selling crap annoy me).
My last year of college for my second B.S. degree I took only one class and didn't work, so I could unwind before the plunge into the corporate rat race.
I had my left ear pierced once up into the cartilage, but let this close after I became bored with the effect.
My earlobes are pierced once each and I wish they weren't.
I don't wear jewelry much at all, I wear glasses (I have contacts too but the glasses make you look nerdier, which I like), I have a fairly pronounced astigmatism, and can wiggle my eyes back and forth at dizzying speeds. I can also cross each one of my eyes independent of the other one.

Ironic, to say the least

2005-03-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Your Porn Star Name is:

Albino Kitty

Get your own Porn Star Name

And the allergy eyes have it

2005-03-22T21:37:00.000-07:00

Well, as you may guess by the post heading, my eyes are about the color of an albino rabbit's (this week I have medium grey-blue eyes with pink sclera) and remind me of little pufferfish (without the grooming shrimp, of course). These fish are also know as blowfish but I digress. Let me tell you, it has scored me some seriously freaky albino fetish lovin' lately (um, ok I am lying, it wasn't that freaky - sorry, Buster). Actually, my eyes are red and gritty and the irritation is about to drive me mad. I must go see my Dr. and get a new prescription for the Patanol drops her M.A. gave me (I see him more than her and we have a better rapport) that clear this problem up (even if they burn and sting like mad when they are first dropped into my eye). If you are curious as to how allergies come about, etc., click here (I love this website, it's so darn handy when you are curious about things - and sometimes I can't remember all my geeky science background stuff well enough to explain so this website helps or I direct people here).

Not bad enough that I have sinisitus, asthma from my allergies, and a crabbiness that should be named since it's taken on a life of it's own. No, that's not enough - I have to have itchy, bitchy eyes too. Ah fug-it-tall, it could be worse.

What the f*ck?

2005-03-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

I was just doing a little bit of good-natured meandering around the blogsites tonight and happened upon some disturbing blog posts. I realize there are some people who enjoy alternative lifestyles out there and all (and stay as fucking-far-away from them as possible since I simply have the most impossible time trying to understand certain proclivities), but I was in an odd mood and happened to stumble upon a post from one of my normal visitation blogs that was revolting at best. Everything is Wrong With Me, is usually caustic and is written by a consummately irreverent smartass (show me the reverent smartass, please). The writer can be entertaining at times if you can take his writing with a grain of salt. This specific post was quite disturbing; however, because women actually responded to the query for nighttime entertainment for a bachelor's party. These women from his writings just seemed desperate to be used and passed around from one man to another with the delusions that this will "free" them from old relationship ties, and/or make them feel sexy and adventurous.

The other blog was, as anyone might guess, a sex diary/blog. I popped in to this blog out of some perverse curiosity to see if it was really a bdsm blog (due to the name), or a parody. Now, I am not a prude and I enjoy a bit of fun and kink while having sex but there are things at which I draw the line. Calling me cunt, slut, bitch, whore, and telling me I am pathetic/desperate (no matter how long you have known me and even if I do trust you implicitly), etc, is soooo not the way to get any response from me except the "god, you are a completely pathetic moron not worth my time" death stare-down followed by the eyebrow raise, then watching me turn and walk away, never to speak to you again. Sorry, if your esteem in the bedroom comes from being abusive, keep moving on buddy because this is not the "bitch with attitude" you want. I don't mind power play in bed (and it does go both ways in my world), as an interesting diversion (understanding, safewords, and solid communication are a wonderful thing). I am open to blindfolds, toys, cuffs, and being tied up (yes, I am vanilla with a faint swirl of caramel but nothing too bold). I won't be doing any crowd scenes at any time in my life, or calling you "Master"....Unless it is followed by "bater" about two seconds later. I will not be calling you "Daddy" (I had one who was married to Mom, and am not looking for a replacement, plus the thought of this simply stirs up some pedophilic visions with not-sexy-in-the-least gag reactions), nor will I be calling you, "Sir", unless your ass has been Knighted by the Queen of England. I do not believe that men are gods who walk the earth (bleah). Men are different, interesting, and a nice change of pace from dealing with my own sex at times. I am adventurous to an extent but what I read smacks of self-esteem issues in these women.

I am hoping these posts were a result of being jaded and searching for "more" of whatever the fuck people think more should be. If you stop and think - more actually is less. Did you ever notice when you have a ton of gourmet food or designer clothes or whatever your little heart desires you simply take it for granted and decide that you need more? You feel the temporary high of acquisition but then soon afterward feel the need to go seek more. I have found when everything is taken in moderation and variation you slow down and appreciate things instead of having the compulsion to have more. Too much of a good thing simply isn't a good thing. Love that reptilian "id" brain with it's fears that ignite and tell you that you need to have and be more instead of concentrating on doing what makes you happy, but that's an aside for later.

Anyway, I am not trying to preach but just sharing my observations (and yes, I am still human and have the "more" monkey on my back at times too). Hope your days and nights are as you wish!

2005-03-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

Soaking up some sun

2005-03-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

There be monsters among us...LOL

Call Ripley's

2005-03-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I got bored and took a personality test. I already knew what the result would be but I figured I would post it along with my sincere comments in parenthesis.

I am (*cue the booming echo*)...an Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiver INTP) personality which is commonly referred to as "The Scholar" (aka the penniless scholar).

INTP in general:
Information is your lifeblood. Without you to research it, analyze it, and store it, the world would be a much more ignorant place (sez you). You possess an uncanny ability to mold (yep, green and fuzzy, that's me) raw data into original and complex theories that explain how and why things happen. To you life is a never ending series of theories that can, and must, be either proven or disproven. (Woohoo, I am a brainy robot....Mmmmm, sexy..lmao)

INTP in love:
As a Scholar, you are likely to be a puzzle to many of your dates (yeah, the figs complain too). With your incisive and theoretical mind (so, I have a mind, in theory...I see) you can run intellectual circles around most anyone. You have no patience for fools and your soul mate must be witty, intelligent, and be able to keep up with your profusion of thoughts, plans, and analyses. Physical appearances count (bring on the nice tushies) but a person's brain power is a crucial consideration to you (*sigh* too true) when selecting a life partner (and then the death partner too). Although you may allow your emotions to get out of control for a short while when you first fall for someone (yeah with the serenade of "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" coming from yours truly), you are quickly able to shift gears and start thinking logically again. You are able to move rapidly from asking, “How do I love thee, let me count the ways” (I love thy stinky feet, and cat that coughs up hairballs in my shoes - as if) at the start of the relationship, to “In what ways does this person meet my criteria, my logical blueprint for what my ideal mate should be like?” No matter how nice or attractive a potential mate may be, he or she must satisfy your logical requirements before you consider giving away your heart (or your silk panties that he wants to wear for no logical reason).

Where to meet an INTP (since we are oh-so-desireable):
Where can you meet a Scholar (in the bibliotheque, of course, tucked into a book like a little worm)? To find a Scholar, make sure to spend times at the places and activities where intellectual and highly educated men and women with good taste are likely to congregate (at the nearest frat house doing a beer bong). If you really want to make headway in meeting your Scholar, you can log on to one of their favorite playgrounds: the Internet (and stalk them - we luuuuv that even more than translating the Simpson's episodes into latin for the culture impaired).

Ah, so pegged and defined by this small assessment...And the lyrics in my mind are - "Am I Living in A Box."

Anyway, you can learn more about my personality type or your own at:
bloginality (to get to the home page simply remove the /index2.php in the url selection box and you can take your own test).

2005-03-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

Erin Go Braless

...And carry a big whip!

2005-03-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

Next on our tour, we observe blue boobies in their natural state - just hanging out. One may notice that they are just chillin'.

Amusement

2005-03-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

Came across a link for the Absolute Bottom 50 Fetishes...Kinda liked #48.

Just joking - it all cracked me up.
Check it out!

Fall from grace

2005-03-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

I was speaking to a customer of mine the other day about socialism. Don't ask how we got onto this discussion, I can't remember - it was a weird, meandering conversation anyway. He was saying that he believes in capitalism. I do to an extent...I still lean toward being democratic with socialist tendencies. Having money or power is fleeting (and doesn't bring happiness anyway, unless you come from abject poverty and move toward being "comfortable" per se), and your empire can topple within the blink of an eye. I don't believe that people who have little money are all lazy, stupid, need to get a decent job and invest in a decent amount of education to get said job. It's always easy to comfort ourselves with these snap judgments and generalizations since poverty and a topple downward, in all reality, is just a heartbeat away. This is what terrifies most people because they do realize this in the back of their minds.

Unfortunately, I have life experience with this toppling downward. I have a bachelors degree (for what it's worth) in a double major of biology and chemistry and another B.S. in computer information systems...Neither of these stopped me from being laid off from my career in information technology, having to sell my home, and being unable to find a decent job for two years afterward because all my contacts were laid off as well, IT companies weren't hiring outside their state, and another company wouldn't touch me because, "she's too smart, she's desperate, and she'll just leave us when she finds something better" (I got to hear this, while waiting for my friend who worked at this illustrious company, in a front vestibule next to the conference room that I had been interviewed in...Obviously, the interviewers weren't smart enough to figure out that sound travels, and I would have loved this job). And the first reaction when you hear or read this is that I did something to precipitate my layoff (another way to assure yourself this could never happen to you) when in fact, I did not. I was nominated by my team leader in my evaluation in IT just prior to the layoff to become a team leader (or team supervisor, if you prefer), and had been fought over by different subdivisions within a company my employer contracted through to work on their assignments.

After the layoff, I was full of piss and vinegar and was sure that I would have a new job within no time flat. Why would I not? I was young, intelligent, a great asset to any IT company, and an extremely dedicated worker (i.e. loved my career). During the job search I was slowly beaten down by recruiters who called and hadn't even bothered to read my resume (they generally do a word search, and never do read your resume since they can't understand what is listed on it anyway), never having any responses at all for my efforts, or hearing that I was too smart or simply lied about my job responsibilities. I had one interview with a manager in an IT company in which I was so nervous, I sweat profusely, and communicated very poorly about things I had accomplished. Afterward when I called back to the manager, he simply told me he felt I lied about what I had done. My problem has always been, unlike others I know who had gotten jobs in IT, I don't lie about what I want, can accomplish, or have accomplished - what would the advantage of this be since I wouldn't be able to perform the job? But then again, I am sure it appeared as though I had lied since I couldn't formulate thoughts to save my life (I was also very desperate at the time this interview occurred). The reactions of friends around me were ironic at best...The basic premise that I must not have been giving enough effort to getting a job because with all my skills I could easily snag a job in no time...Again, back to their fear if I couldn't get a job, what would they do if they were laid off, or the attitude that "even though I am not out there trying to get a job, I know better than you how the employment outlook is."

I finally applied for the job I have presently to make money to survive - since your bank account does tend to take a massive hit when you can't find any steady, decent job for a couple years without being independently wealthy. The job I have doesn't allow any room for creativity, and I don't like the tactics employed to "educate" the customer on their insurance needs. Plus I had been trying to lie to myself that I could learn to like this job and move up within the company but I can't. As the days go by, I am more and more tired, and my weeks just blend from one to the next in a mind-numbing blur. All of this is a sign that I need to be doing something else and use my option to choose a better suited path for myself...When I use to work in IT, I was happy to be there long hours into the night because I loved my job and it wasn't work for me at all. It energized me and was great fun. I looked at it as a big puzzle that I got to figure out. So to compensate for my dread of the job I have to deal with now (for a short time), I am looking into taking classes for web design which will satisfy my need for a creative outlet and then once I get the degree in this discipline, will be getting employment in this area...I am so thrilled with this idea I can hardly contain myself lately. I appreciate the job I have been given and the people who employ me, but bit by bit, my soul dies a little every day I do this job. I am thrilled that I am back to being motivated to use the choices I have again to find another path that makes me happy and fulfilled.

Well, that's a look into one of my life experiences...Does anyone have anything to share? Do you have the courage to post something personal like an anecdote, a link, or express some thoughts?

2005-03-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

I always wear a glittery fern leaf on my crotch for special occasions (to bring good luck)...What do you wear for good luck? No really, do you have any special items you wear for good luck?

2005-03-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

Pretty in Sepia

Concerned or Cautious

2005-03-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Just an odd musing that skittered through my brain as I was reading some other blogs...Valentine's Day came and went and I wasn't even vaguely longing or upset that I didn't have that "special" someone in my life.

I got flowers for my good (female - since that is all I have for friends now) friends at work, arranged them, lovingly placed them in paper, and carefully prepared them for the long day by getting little individual plastic water containers that were sucurely placed over each and every stem end that was cut on a diagonal...I felt a great happiness about giving them a welcome surprise (hopefully), and loved doing all the creative work involved in the arrangements. So, I am thinking that 1) I really don't care about the big angst of Valentine's Day anymore since I have effectively removed myself from the game, or 2) I am starved for a creative outlet in my life, or 3) am mature enough to know that the distress over whether someone you care for gives you something is silly, or 4) pretty much used to this since I seldom had a boyfriend who gave a crap about V-Day when I care so terribly much (when I was younger), or 5) bits and pieces of all the above. I do sometimes think that having someone to talk to and hang out with would be fun and a nice change of pace but my theme song seems to come back to, "Alone Again, Naturally."

I had a great time that day because I had already declared to my friends (at my birthday brunch at a posh restaurant - they chose so darned well) that V-Day was a silly, capitalistic commercial holiday and I was not going to be participating. To be frank, it is a over-commercialized, capitalistic holiday that places too much emphasis on getting a present to show "love," has become a pathetic pavlovian knee-jerk substitute for real romantic gestures that should happen on the spur of the moment, and should occur more than just one day designated by greedy marketing executives, simply because you want to give something and not because you feel obligated...Then again, it made them happy and I had a great time surprising them, but had I felt obligated I probably would have balked like mad at making any gesture.

Oh well, just my odd thoughts before I go to bed. Have a wonderful time, all!

2005-02-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

I love that tattoo

2005-02-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

Black and white beauty

Whoops, can't get these under control!

2005-02-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

Moods R' Us

2005-02-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well, it's a full moon today and the only one, so far, who has been a bit wacky is me***.

All I have done all day long during work is laugh at my silly little typing errors, weird thoughts, and been mildly irritated by cramps...Yes, I have cramps and am phenomenally ~~horny~~ aware of the masculine beauty of men. Let your imagination wonder as to why. Come on back to me - now was that thought amusing? I know the cramps are a calcium issue (I usually have a slight calcium deficiency since I hate taking those damned horse pills). Luckily, I am not at the stage I feel the need to rip something apart (like a phone book with my hands) and, as long as I take some decent calcium doses over the next few days, should be fine. So, run and hide all men in my general vicinity between the ages of 26-43 'cause they will be ~~eyeballed and assessed~~ admired excitedly while I am ~~horny~~ instilled with a deep sense of appreciation for the ~~amazing cock they possess~~ angular lines of their bodies. I have never actually touched anyone...Er, except that one new guy in the lab I used to work in many, many, many years ago - I only started to unbutton his shirt *sigh*. Oops, the ~~harassment suit~~ agreement we came to was that I never mention that again *JOKING*. We never had to go to make that kind of agreement *heehee*).

Additional amusing thoughts - each time I am working on my blog and am posting penis pictures, that damned Diana Ross song, Muscles from the 80's, pops into my head. It's always just the chorus not the rest of the cheesetacular song. It's like I have my own personal theme song for the blog or at least for the penis pictures. When I go back to normally posting, I am sure, It's Not Easy Being Green will be the themesong once again (I am kidding, I just like the song)...Damn those adorable furry, feathery, fuzzy, felty muppets (Inch Worm is my favorite song)! I still miss Jim Henson terribly after all these years *sigh*.

Okay, everyone try not to look directly into my eyes if you see me, placate me with good chocolate (European, not that crappy American wax that is passed off to us as chocolate) and Playgirls, and we all get out of this just fine...lol

Have a good whatever!

***WARNING: the preceding post is not approved of, nor is it the sentiments of the management (she has a ~~twisted sense of humor and has tortured us all day~~ feisty and vibrant creativity about her ~~*sniff, whimper*~~), and is offered for your enjoyment by a ~~hormone-crazed female~~ woman who is a force of nature***

Mediocrity Rules

2005-02-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

I hate to rant (ok, so I love to rant internally so I don't just go off on people), but I am sick of blogs written by people who can't spell, haven't a clue what grammar is, or the mixed letter case blog (a.k.a. the "psycho" word blog - gEtTinG tHe IdEa). The lovesick or lovelorn teen blog seems to be a popular blog to send out into the grand expanse of the info stuporhighway, and can be irritating as well...But then again, once I read the intro I usually pop out of the blog immediately. I do have a heart and can somewhat remember being young (aeons ago) and lovesick or lovelorn but after a long night of too many of the morose, and the sickeningly cute blogs, I wind up wanting to bludgeon myself like a baby seal. Plus, many of the kids who write these blogs have some serious issues with grammar and spelling (which really makes me cringe when it is an American teen who should know better).

People, grammar and spelling are rules set up to attempt to communicate effectively in writing with, or to, another reading what you have to say. There is a spell checker to which you have instant access, for the love of pudding. The excuse that you are a maverick and therefore follow nobody's rules is simply too farcical for me to address without a blog dissertation. And to briefly address my irritation with the psycho word effect - *sigh* what a pathetic attempt to stand out when you have no other means of doing so...So passe (translation - done to death, get over it). I will now step off the soapbox and return to being mild mannered once more. Now back to my normal blog post - nasty pics of hot men (or at least their dicks)....lmao

Have a great work week all!

2005-02-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

Khaki isn't so tacky after all (in this instance).

2005-02-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

Phil's brother, Cary, enjoyed stare downs with his penis.

2005-02-16T22:02:00.000-07:00

Remember girls,
it is the Year of the Cock.

2005-02-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

The only type of watersport in which I wish to partake - sex in the pool (I'll admit I would bite him playfully on the tush beforehand)...And then lap swimming but nothing more kinky than those two.

2005-02-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

I wish I were a towel.

2005-02-12T01:26:00.000-07:00

And tomorrow, I'll go sightseeing.

2005-02-12T00:59:00.000-07:00

Think I'll just curl up on the couch tonight snuggled under something warm and comfy.

2005-02-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

On the exterior Jason was composed and cool...Internally he kept repeating, "I must be smoldering hot and serious for the pic, so stop thinking of buttsweat, sliding off the chair, and getting a grass wedgie!"

Unfortunately, this thought came through on his facial expression denoting mild constipation.

Titties and Beer - My Confession

2005-02-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

As you may well guess from the title, I am having baby mamma drama...Oh crap, nevermind, I just hallucinated that I am Usher. Okay, it really means that I like pouring beer onto my titties - nah, just teasing again.

Since you have probably seen the pics here I really don't think it's necessary, but just in case you didn't know, I enjoy porn. I prefer videos, mpegs, etc, and love when I get to hear sounds of (well) luuuuv, self-luuuuv, down and dirty luuuuuv. Before the questions come (if any lurkers decide to post a comment) I will tell you I am fairly feminine (I like stiletto heels, lingerie, anything cut on the bias and silk, even though I can build a wood deck from scratch, and do understand what a worm drive is on a Makita circular saw). I just have a healthy appetite and attitude toward sexual activity. I love to look, play with, etc, a nicely formed, good sized penis and never tire of seeing them.

For those of you who may think that I like T & B (in the title - it's a reference to a Frank Zappa song), sorry, but I can't stand beer and don't get jump started by boobies. I am; however, fascinated by round, fake boobs for some reason...I think it's the symmetricity that I find interesting, and I can appreciate the female form - the curves are quite beautiful. I am just having a difficult time understanding why men don't realize that many women enjoy porn, toys, and sex (without feeling one bit ashamed). I simply seem to meet many men who are startled when I talk about my sexuality and preferences (once I get to know the man, I don't go up to a complete stranger and say, "Did you happen to see any good hardcore videos lately in which I might be interested? You know, some sucking, some fucking, maybe a little jacking off?").

So, I am going to take a poll on this post:

If you are female - do you find men you've been with are a bit startled or threatened by being straight forward about your sexuality?

If you are male - do you find you are startled or threatened by a woman being straight forward about her sexual likes, dislikes, and/or love of porn and toys?

Well, I am off to unwind for the evening. Have a wonderful day, or night - whatever may be the case for your time zone.